Back into the Closet
by goodgollymolly
Summary: Burt and Carole come home from a trip early, which means Kurt has to hide Blaine, who had slept over. He decides to hide him in his closet, leading to awkwardness and fun times for all. K  for language, plus mentions of Burt killing Blaine.


A/N: Another awkward!Kurt/Burt/Blaine fic! I honestly love writing these things, they're so much fun! I'm glad it seems like you all enjoy them. Thanks again for all your Reviews/Favorites/Alerts/etc, they make my day. You're all beautiful and I love you. :)

Disclaimer: Still don't own Glee. 'Tis sad.

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><p>"Mmm, morning beautiful," Blaine said as he kissed Kurt's cheek, "I just wanted to let you know you look absolutely gorgeous when you sleep."<p>

"You're not so bad to wake up next to yourself, Mr. Anderson," Kurt replied, rolling over to straddle Blaine, "not bad at all. I would like to commend us on keeping our shirts on throughout the night, however, we do have until noon before my dad and Carole get home, so there's plenty of time for that."

"Sounds amazing," Blaine said sleepily, "but it's 7am. Can we at least sleep until 9?"

"Guess you must not want to see me shirtless." Kurt rolled off of him. "Your loss. I was going to let you keep your feet off the ground too."

"Come back. You're warm and I love you. And I definitely want to see you shirtless." Blaine reached out his hand and Kurt grabbed it as he was walking away from the bed. Blaine used all of his strength to pull Kurt back onto the bed and on top of him. "Well, hello again you," Blaine said as he kissed Kurt, "see how much better this is?"

"You little bitch," Kurt moaned into the kiss, "this may be much better, but I want to brush my teeth before we continue because I feel disgusting. I suggest you do the same."

"Okay…help me up though?"

"You are not fooling me with that little trick again!"

"It was a pretty good one if I say so myself…"

"You would-" Kurt was cut off by a sound that stopped both his and Blaine's hearts.

"Kurt, Finn, we're home!"

Burt and Carole were back. This was much earlier than was expected. Kurt dropped the tube of toothpaste he was holding and looked like he was about to cry. A look of panic crossed Blaine's face. They weren't supposed to be home until noon! This was not cool at all. Kurt was going to be in huge trouble, and Blaine was probably going to be banned from the house forever.

"Shit, shit, shit!" Kurt hissed. "I'm going to die. You're going to die! We're all going to die!"

"Kurt, calm down," Blaine said, trying to be the more composed one, "we'll just tell them that I came over for breakfast!"

"Blaine, it is 7am on a Saturday morning, would you believe that?"

"Okay, good point…but what should we do? I can't just waltz out of this room! I can't believe I'm going to die a virgin!"

"Blaine," Kurt whispered, "it's so comforting to know you could have sex on your mind at a time like this! He's going to kill us both!"

"Well, at least it's a little romantic-we'll die together, like Romeo and Juliet!"

"That wasn't my ambition in life, Blaine!"

They stopped bickering as they heard the third step creak under someone's foot. "They must be asleep," Carole whispered, "let's let them. We'll wake them up at ten."

"Thank god." Kurt and Blaine each breathed a sigh of relief.

"Let's just check on them," Burt whispered back, "we haven't seen them all week! I've missed those two."

"Jesus Christ," said Blaine, "no offense, but your dad sucks sometimes, Kurt!"

"Shut up, shut up, shut up!" Kurt hissed at Blaine. "I'm trying to think of a plan. I've got it! Get into the closet!"

"Your big plan involves me acting straight?" Blaine said jokingly, "The last time I did that, you didn't like it…"

"At any other time I would find that hilarious, really Blaine," Kurt snapped, clearly annoyed, "but get into the damn closet!"

"Okay, okay," Blaine said, stepping into the closet, Kurt closing the door behind him, "wow, it's been like four years since I was last in you, closet…I missed you!"

"You're just so hilarious," Kurt whispered, rolling his eyes, "just shut up, and I swear, if you touch my Alexander McQueen, I will kill you before my dad ever gets to you."

"Sheesh, okay!"

Kurt jumped into his bed and quickly pulled the covers over himself. He heard his dad and Carole open Finn's door to check on him, and then wander down the hall to his room. "If I know Kurt," he heard his dad chuckle, "he'll already be up and started on his routine."

Kurt heard the door creak open, and Burt walk over to his bed, sitting on the edge. "Hey, little guy," he said, running his hand through Kurt's hair, "how are we this fine morning?"

"Mmm, tired," Kurt mumbled, rolling over to face his dad, "you're back early."

"Yeah, we couldn't wait to see our boys," said Carole from the doorway, "do you want to sleep some more honey?"

"Mmhmm…so tired." Kurt added with a yawn.

Just then Kurt's phone buzzed. "Hand me my phone, dad?"

Burt obliged, but not before reading the text displayed on the screen.

_You let your dad touch your hair? By the way, I'm watching you sleep!-BLAINE_

"Kurt," Burt said, anger rising in his voice, "how is Blaine watching you sleep?"

Kurt's eyes went wide. That idiot. Why would he do something like this right now? Did he have any respect for Kurt or his bodies? He knew Blaine did stupid stuff when he was tired, but this way insane!

"It was probably a text from a while ago that just got through, you know smartphones."

"Oh, yeah, I know mine acts funny sometimes too," Burt said, "now go back to sleep, twiddlebug."

Just then, all three of them heard snickering coming from Kurt's closet. Kurt's stomach gave a lurch as his dad made his way over to open the door.

"No!" Kurt shouted, springing up to stand in front of his closet door. "I got out some of my old toys this week, it's probably just my old baby doll."

"Kurt," Carole looked at him with her eyebrows raised, "are you hiding something from us?"

"No," Kurt said, his voice jumping an octave, "nothing at all! It's just it's such a beautiful day! Why don't you two go downstairs and I'll make breakfast-we'll eat al fresco!"

"Kurt," Burt growled, "get away from the door and let me open it. _**NOW.**_"

"Dad, my closet is super messy, and I don't-"

"Your closet is organized by color and designer Kurt, I seriously doubt that."

"Not designer," said the voice from the closet, "because I'm pretty sure that he has a McQueen next to a Marc Jacobs."

The blood rushed into Burt's face, turning it bright red. He looked like he was going to kill someone. Kurt plastered himself against the closet door, hoping that his dad still had hang-ups about killing his offspring.

"Kurt," Burt said dangerously, "I will give you to the count of three. If you have not moved by then, I will move you!"

"Hey Kurt," said the voice from the closet again, "you move me!"

"That's it!" Burt charged at the door, Kurt yelping and moving out of the way. Burt attempted to yank the door open.

"Dad," Kurt muttered, "the door has a lock on it from that side."

"Blaine Anderson, you open that door right now!"

"But you'll kill me!"

"Blaine," Burt said, trying to keep calm, "open the door please. Nobody is getting killed."

"I don't believe you!"

"Blaine, honey," Carole said, "come out of the closet!"

"I already have," Blaine giggled, "remember? I'm dating Kurt!"

"Blaine, not the time for jokes, honey!"

"Okay," Blaine said, taking a deep breath, "I'm coming out. But only if Mr. Hummel is across the room."

"That sounds reasonable." Carole motioned for Burt to move to the other side of Kurt's bedroom.

"Why does the loser get to negotiate the terms of the surrender?" Burt was grumbling as he walked to the other side, finally calling out, "Come out!"

Blaine opened the closet door slowly, raising his hands in surrender.

"Honey," Carole said, "what are you doing here?"

"I'm here for breakfast," Blaine squeaked, swallowing nervously, "since Kurt is an early riser and it's just Finn and him here, I thought I'd come to keep him company."

"You're digging your own grave," Burt mumbled from the corner, "just keep going."

Kurt stood in front of Blaine and put his hands on his hips. "Dad, we didn't do anything! He just slept over-nothing went down!"

"Kurt," Burt said icily, "we have rules for a reason."

"You've let Blaine sleep over before! So it's not against the rules!"

"It is if he sleeps in your bed!"

"Maybe he didn't!"

"Kurt, honey-we can tell he slept in your bed. Look at how the pillows look." Carole actually looked almost sympathetic. Maybe they wouldn't die after all.

"Okay, but seriously, nothing funny went down."

"Kid, pack your bags," Burt said, pointing at Blaine, "I'm taking you home, and we're going to have a nice, long talk about the rules in my house and your intentions with my son."

"I'll take him home!"

"No, you won't. I'm taking him home, and that's final!"

Burt stomped out of the room, leaving Carole, Blaine, and Kurt standing there, each looking a bit ill.

"I'll talk to him boys," Carole said quietly, "Kurt, take Blaine home."

"But dad said-"

"Kurt," Blaine mumbled weakly, "please take me home, I don't want to die."

"Okay. Thanks Carole."

"This is the only time Kurt, next time you may not be so lucky." She turned and left the room.

Kurt went over to give a very pale Blaine a kiss, then added, "We need to go now while he's distracted, he might just maim you now, definitely not kill."

"Not funny, Kurt, but let's go-I don't want to spend any more time here today, cool?"

"Cool."

They both ran down the stairs to the car, neither bothering to change out of their pajamas. They held hands all the way to Blaine's house. Once they got there, Blaine leaned over and gave Kurt a kiss.

"I'm so glad I didn't die today, I really would have missed you."

"You could have haunted me. Plus, I still have to go back there!"

"Be strong. Love you!"

"Love you too!"

Blaine hopped out of the car. Kurt's phone buzzed and he looked down at it. There was one text from Blaine.

_COURAGE-BLAINE_

Kurt was definitely going to have to get him back for this.


End file.
